Hello all, I am in need of some advice if there is anyone out there who will be kind enough to give some. 6 months ago I met who I thought was the man of my dreams. Smart, loving, attentive, kind, the list could go on believe me. But then one evening not long after starting our relationship he told me that he has had problems with gambling for over 6yrs, had to declare himself bankrupt due to the high level of debt he had accrued from his gambling and that he had more debt now that he needed help with because of the same problems. He begged me to give him the chance to change his ways and prove that myself and young daughter were what he wanted in his life. He told me out-right that he would never stop gambling but could and would control it and to please stand by him. So, I took a chance and have agreed to stand by him but he has continually let me down by getting into trouble gambling time and again. There is not a day goes by that he is not online betting and his moods when he can’t bet or loses one are horrible! I love this man so very much but I don’t think I am strong enough to cope with and support his habit in the long term. We argue constantly and it’s a harsh reality that I can never fully trust him, so will we ever survive? I am aware that I have waffled on here and feel a little silly but I am coping with this on my own and have no-where and no-one to turn to.

Hi, I’m hoping someone may be able to help me or give me some advice.  I feel absolutely desperate and don’t know where to turn.  My partner has a gambling addiction which he has had since his twenties.  Since we have been together over the past 2 years he has gambled periodically and lost holiday, salary and mortgage monies. He stole from his family when he was younger and attended GA meetings which helped. We both lost our jobs at Christmas and things are a struggle now to say the least. Last month he gambled hundreds which was the mortgage. He turned to his friends to bail him out telling them it was a shortage on the mortgage because we are not working and they bailed him out. As far as his family and friends are concerned he hasn’t gambled for years. He has told me that if I tell anyone it will make things worse as no one will lend to him and his family will disown him. There seems to be no limits to what he will do to gamble and yesterday he gambled the only money in our bank account. We now have no money at all for food. My family help me out but this in turn seems to give him a get out clause for when he gambles. I have asked him to go back to GA numerous times but he says he is really sorry. I love him and don’t want to desert him and then we are back to square one without him addressing the problem. I just don’t know what to do. Any advice would be so appreciated. Thank you.

Hi, I feel I need to share my story with everyone as I hope to give some hope and inspiration to others. I first started gambling a few years ago. I used the death of my mum as an excuse to gamble as I felt I had nothing else to do with my spare time now she had gone. It was a good excuse at first and everyone understood that I spent a few pounds on the online bingo and slots. It was over the next couple of years that I began to play each day and often chased the money I had lost to get it back as I’d spent all I had and more. I remember clearly I had a decent `Big Win` which made me feel great and I thought all the gambling was paying off. I knew luck would come to me if I tried hard enough. But hey guess what? Every penny disappeared in no time and then I was severely hooked on getting it back. It spiralled out of control and life became unbearable. I lied to all my family friends and most of all my husband who I love dearly. It finally happened on the 23/09/2008 and I had hit rock bottom and felt I couldn’t take any more. I couldn’t lie my way out of this one as I had got myself into serious debt problems. I contacted GA and went to my first meeting. I remember how frightened I was and how ashamed I was of myself. I felt a fool and a disgrace. My husband came with me and I hid round the corner whilst I sent him to have a look what these `Gambling` kind of people looked like. I don’t know why but I expected gamblers to look different to me. I mean I considered myself to be an intellectual and a person who always strived to do well in life. Then here I am attending a gambling meeting. My god what had I done. But alas, I went to the meeting and continued to go. I have been bet free since September 2008 and I am now turning my life around. I still have many debts to contend with and other issues crop up that at times makes me feel a little vulnerable to gamble. But I have not. I feel I am now a recovering gambler and I will not become complacent and think that I’ve achieved my recovery as I know that I will always be a compulsive gambler in recovery one slip and I will go under I’m am sure of it and I will not let that happen. Life is so much better now. I spend time with my 2 lovely children and husband and can enjoy that time. I have successfully completed an Advanced Diploma and I am continuing to go to do my Degree. I graduate in a couple of weeks and I can now stand up and hold my head higher and I know those closest to me will be proud and at last I am proud of me! I hope this message gives inspiration to others and I wish you all every success in your recovery and I hope this message also shows that life can turn around and you can do it too.

I write this having surrendered. I am hopelessly addicted to roulette machines and have lost more than I can ever earn. I have been waiting for counselling for 6 months without even a call from them. I have self excluded from literally dozens of bookmakers but there are always more. GA meetings don’t seem to help. I have given up. I attempted suicide last year but failed. I am on my way to A&E as advised by the helpline I recently contacted with my suicidal thoughts. The hospitals may commit me but I don’t think they can help my addiction. Should I not be given some inkling of hope of getting out of this addiction I will be released back into this greedy governments land where taxes from roulette machines take precedence over peoples’ lives. It is then that I will kill myself. I acknowledged long ago I could not lead a normal life because of gambling but now realize I cannot live in a society so selfish as to callously allow for a past time that affects so many so badly. For me it is over.

I am at a loss. I feel so stupid. In the last 5 years I have gambled tens of thousands. I make a decent income and am still relatively young but I am stuck in this downward spiral. I had stopped gambling for a year and half and then was upset over a fight with my partner and started gambling again. He found out and left. He came back and I have started gambling again. He doesn’t know. He asks me if I am gambling again and I tell him no. I am afraid of what he will do if or when he finds out. I can’t tell him because of what he has said he will do if I gamble again. He used to have control of the finances but I found that he would then deny me money for legitimate purposes (even though I had money) because I have to pay for what I’ve done and should do without because I’ve gambled. I don’t know what to do. There are no groups near me.

Hi all, where shall I start, it all started for me when I went to the seaside with my parents when I was a young lad, and going to the arcade where we played the slots for pennies. That really started me off playing these slots try to win more money, I gamble all my life when I was in school and when I started work, I had a good job with good pay and I was single, and I had my own flat which I bought. I thought I was ok. Then I met a young lady and thought I could settle down. We had a good social life, never went out to the pubs or clubs but liked going out to have a meal and going to have a game of bingo. We have been seeing each other for about 7 years and kept our own homes, she had be married before and had two children so this why I kept my flat and she had her house. Then about 8 years ago she died very suddenly and died in my arms and this let me a big hole in my life, my good friend died and this led me into a gambling overdrive in my life, and I gambled and gambled until I lost my home and my job. Gambling was a big time in my life. I went out every night to the bingo Club which I thought was an escape from losing someone that I love, then it got out of hand and I started playing the slots and playing bingo in between.  Then I went to the local community centre where I live to play bingo and they asked me to come on the committee to help them out on the bingo nights and I said yes. I then became the treasure which was a very bad mistake. I was stealing money to feed my gambling habits and then found out the police were called in and they came to my work place to arrest me and take me to the police station. I went to court and I thought I was going to prison for 6 months but I had two years probation which I finished and then my name was in the local newspaper on the front page which my family didn’t know anything about it until they read it. Then I found G A in 2004 where I met people who had the same problem as me in gambling. I have been going now nearly 5 years and never miss a meeting. I go twice a week without fail and use the gambling forum web site to help people that need help because we do need each other and to support each other. For me, because this is an illness within we do need someone to control our money for us. I am lucky I got my sister to look after my money for me and it does work. 4 years without a bet or gamble. I don’t have easy access to money which is good.  For those who are in early stages of recovery you must not have any money around you and no access because it so easy to go back gambling and some point in life you need to get trust back from your family. I have just lost my mother who was the rock my life. I think about my mum who was there for me at a time when I was going through my addiction with gambling. So never make excuses to go out to gamble because you had a row with the family or something because of the damage we have done we need to restore our trust that we can be trusted again. Your friend Stephen.

I’ve been paid again and gambled to the point that I make each month a difficult one, when I should if I were normal be able to coast the months, I have a good job, a great wife (who also has a good job) but I am addicted to having a bet on an event. I find it settles me to know I have a bet on, and I get unsettled if a result comes in I thought would happen and I didn’t bet on it….(crazy really) - and hard to explain. I’ve gambled for years and the last 4 have been with high stakes (which is unaffordable if you have a few good losers) my wife knows, and we think I have a problem. I can’t make GA meetings as I travel to work, I train hard in the evenings (gym) but always feel the need for a gamble when cash is available. I feel a total idiot writing this post as I’ve never done it before. My wife says to give it up and I say yes and I will only gamble on occasions (but these turn into regular patterns) is it possible to control my habit and gamble as others do i.e. if I were to go to the races (rarely) or watch a live match etc or is it something you have got to stop all together? I worry that my love for sport has turned into a gamble and I worry that without a bet I do not have the same passion (I used to). I had a bit of a problem with those stupid roulette machines in corals for a while but thankfully don’t enter betting shops regular anymore as all my gambling is done online. Thanks for any advice.

On Friday my fiancée found out that I have been gambling again. This time, over the course of 3 or so months, I spent several thousands of pounds, every penny of my inheritance on various mobile casino games, horse racing and football results. The money was meant to be going towards our wedding next year, with some set aside for a deposit for a house. This is not the first time she has found out about my gambling. The first time, I vowed to stop after not being able to pay for my half of the rent or for our holiday. This time I am admitting I have a real problem and am going to go to my first GA meeting tonight. I only hope that it isn’t too late to save my relationship and have a bright future.

Hi all. I’m feeling confused after receiving advice that I didn’t want to hear. My boyfriend is a compulsive gambler, I took over all our finances in February and he’s been doing well. Recently he’s been struggling to cope with me having all the control and after a huge argument a few days ago I stupidly gave in and told him the pin number of his bank account. He took the card and gambled the lot in one go. His intention was to prove to me that he could have control and not gamble but he failed. He is devastated, he went to his GA meeting the following night and broke down and told them everything for the first time. He says he now realises that I need to keep control of the money and not allow him access and it has to be long term, maybe even permanent thing and that his feelings of frustration are something he’ll just have to learn to deal with. I’ve always stuck to thinking that as long as he wants to not gamble I’ll stand by him, I’ll take away the opportunity by handling the money in order to keep myself and my son safe and he must deal with his demons which he is trying his hardest to do. I feel this was just a slip and know not to let it happen again, he feels the same. After talking it over with my best friend who’s always been completely supportive she told me she thinks I’m a mug and that he’s had one chance too many and I should throw him out. His brother gave me a similar talk, he said I’m making him worse by not forcing him to deal with the consequences of his actions and that I need to throw him out and make him do this on his own. I can’t help but feel they just don’t understand, yes he’s just slipped up massively but it’s made him more determined to sort himself out. I thought we were going in the right direction and I realise this will be a lifelong struggle. I don’t usually doubt myself but am I being a complete mug? Have I lost touch with reality? I’d really appreciate some feedback from people who do understand what we’re going through.

My names Liam and I’m a compulsive Gambler. I have been free from a bet now for 14 months and I have been attending 1 or 2 meetings every week and a bet is the last thing on my mind and life has been getting better and better because of it. But last week a horse I used to own was running and the new owner rang me to say they were having a go today and for me to get on. Well this nearly wrecked my head I bought a paper and looked at the betting on the race my head was racing for the first time in 14 months. But thankfully I got on the phone and called my sponsor and other members of my GA group we also had a meeting that night and that really helped me to get it out of my system. The reason I’m sharing it here is to show other compulsive gamblers not to get complacent, there I was cruising along, no desire to bet and suddenly one phone call and my whole mind set changed. But thanks to GA and the network of friends on the end of the phone I got passed this and I am stronger for it.