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Back in the clutches of gambling - slalomskiboy1 - 27-02-2018

My name is Andy,and I am a compulsive gambler.I hadnt had a bet for 3 years and 5 months until 2 weeks ago when I got caught out and rejoined the old,wreckless scene of gambling.I was just going about my normal business,and while watching tv an ad came on, obviuosly advertising gambling again and for some stupid reason I looked it up and got an online account going and of course within minutes I was back in gambling action as though I had never even had a day off.The damage I did in 24 hours has completely destroyed all the hard work of the past 3+ years and although I only had the account going for some 36 hours,as I immediately closed it down as I had already got into a whole heap of shite.But unfortunately I actually visited the bookies in the coming days and had an absolute few days of all out frenzied gambling.As usual.it didnt matter that I had managed 3.5years free of it,but I went back just as hard and mad as before.I have achieved many things and life had become better since I abstained,and I know that anything I want I can obtain by working only,NOT by GAMBLING,yet this disease has once again for the hundreth or more time,taken control of me and I am right back where I was over 3 years ago.The mental damage has been done,its not the money,or financial gain,and now Im not convinced that I even want to give up.


RE: Back in the clutches of gambling - Simmo - 28-02-2018

Hi Andy,

Thank you so much for sharing this, it was something I learnt in rehab about tolerance levels in the brain that build up, and that an addiction can only be halted but if you go back to it, it's back from where you left off, not a slow progression that it once was. Your post has cemented what I'd heard, and it will help me to time to come.

You've still managed 3.5 years without gambling, you can do it again, and more. If you take an honest look at what led you to placing that first bet, were you actively working on your recovery? Still going to meetings? Helping newcomers? I still get thoughts, sometime desire tries to overtake reason, and in these times I reach out to help someone new to recovery. This not only reminds me of how far I have come since stopping gambling, but also helping others actually helps me more.

You know what you need to do, get to a meeting, share you experience, it will help others, and help yourself. Together we can combat this illness.

One day at a time

Simmo

Quote from the Orange book:

"Can a compulsive gambler ever gamble normally again?

No. the first small bet to a problem gambler is like the first small drink to an alcoholic. Sooner of later comes the fall back into the old destructive pattern.

Once a person has crossed the invisible line into irresponsible gambling, then it seems to be impossible to regain control. After abstaining a few months, some of our members have tried some small bet experiments, always with disastrous results. The old obsession inevitably returned.

Our GA experience seems to point to these alternatives; to gable, risking progressive deterioration, or not to gamble and develop a spiritual way of life"


RE: Back in the clutches of gambling - slalomskiboy1 - 01-03-2018

(28-02-2018, 11:24 AM)Simmo Wrote: Hi Andy,

Thank you so much for sharing this, it was something I learnt in rehab about tolerance levels in the brain that build up, and that an addiction can only be halted but if you go back to it, it's back from where you left off, not a slow progression that it once was.  Your post has cemented what I'd heard, and it will help me to time to come.  

You've still managed 3.5 years without gambling, you can do it again, and more.  If you take an honest look at what led you to placing that first bet, were you actively working on your recovery?  Still going to meetings?  Helping newcomers?  I still get thoughts, sometime desire tries to overtake reason, and in these times I reach out to help someone new to recovery.  This not only reminds me of how far I have come since stopping gambling, but also helping others actually helps me more.

You know what you need to do, get to a meeting, share you experience, it will help others, and help yourself.  Together we can combat this illness.

One day at a time

Simmo

Quote from the Orange book:

"Can a compulsive gambler ever gamble normally again?

No.  the first small bet to a problem gambler is like the first small drink to an alcoholic.  Sooner of later comes the fall back into the old destructive pattern.

Once a person has crossed the invisible line into irresponsible gambling, then it seems to be impossible to regain control.  After abstaining a few months, some of our members have tried some small bet experiments, always with disastrous results.  The old obsession inevitably returned.

Our GA experience seems to point to these alternatives; to gable, risking progressive deterioration, or not to gamble and develop a spiritual way of life"

Yes I can do it again and this is the 3rd period of 3 years + i have managed to abstain in the last 10 years,but unfortunately in between ive had an absolute binge of all out completely reckless gambling for a period of 2/3 months before I actually got away from the clutches of it.
Being honest,no I havent been working fully on my recovery,ive only been doing just enough to stay free of it.
The frustrating thing is that I am in a position where I have the things I wanted all without gambling,I dont need money I can obtain that by working hard which I do,and even when I tried to reason with myself the gambling still broke me as it always will when it can.
I can only say I will continue to write my daily program out and try again from day 1 and see what happens.Many thanks.


RE: Back in the clutches of gambling - smartie - 01-03-2018

Recovery from illness can be complicated and depends on getting the right treatment and tools in place depending on how addicted a person is. Maybe you need to increase your lvl of tools, if not now, maybe in the future....

Just food for thought from experience...

Smartie xx


RE: Back in the clutches of gambling - slalomskiboy1 - 03-03-2018

(01-03-2018, 12:16 PM)smartie Wrote: Recovery from illness can be complicated and depends on getting the right treatment and tools in place depending on how addicted a person is.  Maybe you need to increase your lvl of tools, if not now, maybe in the future....

Just food for thought from experience...

Smartie xx

Yes you are absoluitely right.
Ive been wrecklessly gambling,all out and unfortunately my thought process is well I have everything I want so what the hell gamble.But I know inside of me that I am not doing the right thing and it will all come crashing down as it always does when I gamble,but I have not been using the correct tools,neither have I been doing enough to stay clear of the demon,or take away the temptation.
But for today I will try again as I had another bet yesterday,but today is a new day and I will write my daily program and begin again.Thank you.


RE: Back in the clutches of gambling - Simmo - 05-03-2018

Nobody has ever succeeded in anything by giving up. Keep trying, keep going to meetings, keep in contact with others in recovery.

One day at a time

Simmo